Hugs and Ears

I am Jonah. Jonah am I. I ran from a ministry about 3 years ago. A ministry that had taken me around the world. A ministry that had challenged me to the brink of death. A ministry that exposed all of my weaknesses and kept them right in front of my face on a daily basis. I squirmed and complained and pointed fingers till I had exhausted all excuses and finally jumped ship and cried out bitterly, "I quit!"

Now 3 years later, God is asking me to come back. I still can't believe it but everyday I take a baby step back and quietly repent if I've made a mistake and pray that this step will surely crumble and I can go back to my life. But every step is firm and confident. So I keep treading which sounds like dreading, on. I feel more certain that Jonah did not run back to Ninevah!

The ministry has been thru many storms since I was last there. It's evident in the amount of people actually there. You can feel the weariness as you walk onto the property. Oh that God would bring me back now. Now when it appears on the outside to be gasping for air. But knowing God and his thrill for the impossiblity, it certainly wouldn't surprise me.

So somehow upon my return I have immediately fallen into a rhythm. I was asked to speak once and every night since then I have been sharing with the people who are living in the shelter. Just like that it happened. Suddenly, I get to share all my experiences but more than anything I get to be the ears and give the hugs to those who are weary from serving and for those who are just weary from life. It's incredibly humbling and surprisingly, it feels like home.

I am slowly stepping back out into the river. I am up to my knees now. I know soon I will be up to my neck and then at some point I will have to pick my feet up and see where it takes me. The deeper I get out the more appealing the shore becomes but river is too alluring. It's terrifying and exhilirating! I know when I do pick my feet up it will flow. With all of it's rocks and rapids, it will still flow.