Gauntlet Laid!

There come's a point in any situation where you can't go another step. An epiphany! Or a "pig pen moment" to coin a phrase. But whatever you call it, you come to yourself with such dramatic awakening that you can't or won't proceed another iota! That's the point I have reached in the never ending game my ex-wife and I call Tug-of-Ideal Parent Decisions for the Children-War! It's been riveting and spectacular! Each of us defending our cause and our territory with stealth like command. Both of us standing in our towers of righteousness gripping our flags with our bloody hands. The strawn bodies of casualties lying at our feet. Three to be exact. Our children!

So in that moment of awakening, I had to make a decision. The scene that came racing into my mind was set in Solomon's court! Old Testament! Two women screaming over one baby and a soldier with a sword. My heart went cold. I don't know which woman I was but I knew at that moment, the only way to win was to let go. Noble? Not really. Selfless? Hardly. But I knew that the outcome of our desperate game was going to be something that neither of us wanted and I had the opportunity to set things right. Or did I?

So I sent a text to my wife. Strong and manly, no? And requested a meeting. With sheilds at the ready she confessed that she had already launched a counter attack by issuing a restraining order against me! I was undaunted. I pressed on. Let's meet for drinks. She was still apprehensive. She was ready for a fight but willing to succeed with the stipulations that our "calm" ex-brother-in-law would be the mediator. Pouncing on the opportunity, I agreed and set the time but she set the location. It would be neutral. Switzerland, if you will, being my brother-in-law's house. And with that the tribunal was set.

I was there early. She arrived with a opened bottle of wine in tow which in hindsight was to my advantage. Wine poured. Sofa positions established, I began the summit. You could see as I began to pontificate my ex-wife began to relax. The results of the peace talks were astonishing.

My first statement in my address went something like this..."I give." Eloquent I admit but powerful beyond expectation! I went on to say how I couldn't go on anymore. That we were destroying the children and that I was leaving. She won! The white flag was being flown! It was these words that broke whatever it was between us. We spent the next two hours crying, laughing, crying, kissing, and crying some more. My confessions and repentance was met with acceptance and grace. It was one of the most powerful times we have ever had in our marriage. And like it or not, we're still married. We may have papers that state the contrary but in our hearts we are still connected in a way that we don't know what to do with.

The peace summit was successful. Successful in ways I could have never imagined. So now the wound has been lanced. The outcome is still yet to be determined but the good news is the game is over and the rope in our elaborate tug of war has been laid down.

I think our kids are going to start breathing again.